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In From There?

by My Own Confusion

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K French
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K French Such a great performer. Favorite track: Truth Be Told.
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1.
Sometimes the messes in my mind send me mixed signals I see things moving when they are not and phantoms leap at me like too many regrets too many days. I choose to get up and fail at being normal. Too many tries too many lies trying to be someone I'm not. You'll never see who I am and Truth Be Told I don't know if I'll see it either. With lies and tries and realities blurred what makes you think you could have told me anything different. What makes me thing you visit again. Feathered wings from an angel to fly at least one more time.
2.
I can't talk today my mind is reeling, a million things I could say if I had the feeling. And I understand why you're upset, I am sorry that I cannot be the best. I'll work on the rest. Don't abandon me I'm working on it, please understand I mean it when I say that I'm sorry. No more kind laughter no easy words, embittered bodies surround a cold hearth, for what it's worth. Don't abandon me, I'm working on it, please understand I mean it when I say that I am sorry. Don't abandon me. Don't abandon me. Don't abandon me. Don't abandon me, I'm working on it, please understand I mean it when I say that I'm sorry. Don't abandon me I'm working on it, please understand I mean it when I say that I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am very sorry.
3.
Words Unsaid 03:58
I wish I could lean in, a little closer, closer to you. And then a whisper, a quiet whisper, a whisper to you. Make our secret, a little secret, never to be told, but you never listened, you never heard what I didn't say. I need you by my side, but you're away. A lesson I didn't take to find my way. Hey. Just a whisper, a quiet whisper Words Unsaid. Take a breath, take a moment, and you're away. It's time to move on.
4.
I'm poised to fuck this thing up again. I'm poised to loose everything I used to have. I've lost the boundary and I've lost the line, who could have known everything I knew was a lie? Because I can't see the light under the could I'm in. And I can't see your face when I search for it. I can't see the light under the clouds I'm in. And I can't see your face when I search for it. A practice in patience the thought of loosing you. I'd been lost so long I tried to find somewhere new, but I'm paralyzed at the thought of loosing you. The though of loosing you. Because I can't see the light under the could I'm in. And I can't see your face when I search for it. I can't see the light under the clouds I'm in. And I can't see your face when I search for it.
5.
Therapy 04:22
I feel so happy I could die, I don't know what else to do anyways. The voices in my head say "it's ok" I guess I don't know what else to do. Three feet, from the street, maybe I should stop now. I'm only one step away from Uncle Howie, how do they do things in that groovy land of yours? Have you learned how to tell colors apart yet? I guess that's what happens when you're in therapy. I don't see much of a point of me being here. I don't see much of a point of me being here, I guess cuz I don't see, much of a point in me. I feel so happy I could die, I don't know what else to do with my energy, it's hard to know what you want when you're tired the other 23 hours a day!
6.
When I see you, my whole body freezes I've got no place to run. When I see you, I feel my heart pounding oh where can I run? Because when I see you, I want to be under your skin, in your thoughts and mind, swimming together we are one. Because when I see you, it's like a stutter I can't control the things in my mind or in my soul. I don't want to let go. When I see you, I don't want to look but you're all I see, and when I see you I know there are words I'll never ever say. You will never know I loved you anyways. I don't want to let go, of the little things I saw you do, of the little things that moved me to love you.
7.
I never really liked being me until I met you. My years of pain not scars forgotten but badges of honor to share with you. Nothing's been the same since that day in my life, and that was they day I met you. I never really liked being human but it's worth it if i get to know you, I never thought this pain could be worth it but I changed my mind when I understood you. Everything changes sometimes in the blink of an eye, my soul is bare and I can finally feel the breeze and see the light, all because I met you. I never really liked being human.
8.
Storms pounding out a new beat I trade my old shoes for new feet I don't like the ones I've got the fabrics wearing through and it's wearing me out. You're wearing me down. Watching old baseball games and low budget telethons ain't like watching you yourself, when you yourself is on. Got time to wander, to waste and to wind, but when it comes to you it seems that I just can't find the time. So watch your head and watch the ground, it's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown. If I gave you my number, would things still be the same, if I saved you from drowning, promise me you'll never go away, oh, promise me you'll always stay. Closed down the last local zoo, I'm gonna win the endless war over who kills the last koala bear, and who in death will love me more and I. He grabs me by the hands, drags me to the shore he says "maybe you don't love me, but you'll grow to love me even more and I, I'm not surprised"
9.
Evelyn sits by the elevator doors, it's been 37 years since James died on St. Patrick's day in 1964, she could not hold it against him. There were times there was nothing she could do but lie in bed all day beside a picture of them together, a picture of better days. And just like James I'm drinking Irish tonight, and the memory of this last work week would be gone for ever Evelyn, I'm not coming home tonight. If we're never together and I'm never back again, well I swear to God that I'll love you forever Evelyn, I'm not coming home tonight. In all the years that went by, she said she'd always love him. And from the day that she died, she never loved again. And in his wallet, she kept on her nightstand, an AA card and a lock of red hair, kept secrets of pride locked so tight in her heart, killed part of her before the rest was gone. She said "if I would have known just how things would have ended up, I just would have let myself die" And just like James I'm drinking Irish tonight, and the memory of this last work week would be gone for ever Evelyn, I'm not coming home tonight. If we're never together and I'm never back again, well I swear to God that I'll love you forever Evelyn, I'm not coming home tonight.

about

Solo version of the album Out Of Here! to be released at a future undisclosed time (it's all very hush hush, in fact they aren't even telling US when it's going to be released, and we don't even have a label, or a manager). These are all songs that I wrote myself about different feelings and emotions we all experience in life, especially on communication. I hope that you enjoy them and they affect you in some way.


Oh, btw just to make clear, I did not write the Against Me! song. Laura Jane Grace wrote that and is a brilliant songwriter, it's just our favorite song to play as a band.
(This applies to the Tegan and Sara cover too)

credits

released August 11, 2013

Vocals/guitar/foot tapping/strange noises I didn't realize the microphone picked up/cover model/ mixer/ recorder/ producer/ button presser- Nina Herrera Merkur

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My Own Confusion Queens, New York

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